The Push I Needed
Originality is something I consistently strive for and as I've said, I am so extremely thankful to have been given this opportunity to do my own thing. It almost seems normal right now for me to lead rehearsals, direct several people on how to portray characters I created and even just buying a certain prop that I hoped for, but it wasn't always like that. I still remember the autumn night that I was walking back to my dorm with my friend and I brought up having the slightest inclination to direct someday, not really expecting anything to develop. However, my friend was not about to let me say something like that and not react to it. She was so excited for me already even though it was just an idea with very little reasoning behind it. That's when I knew that this seemingly impossible idea could potentially be a far-fetched goal.
With classes, an off-campus job, and the current musical production I was working on, my excitement of directing sort of died down, but after a couple of months, I had a new, potentially crazy idea. One year ago, I posted a poll on Facebook with no context: Ambitious goal vs realistic goal. My intention was to start researching potential plays that would be good for Hilltop, but even before I did that, the thought popped into my head of writing a play. Of course, a decision wouldn't be right without the pros and cons. Pros included: I would know the show really well, I could make it right for the organization and of course, my motivation would be through the roof to make it the best it can be. Cons included: no one would know the story except for me, it's not guaranteed that people would like my writing, I might not have the creative capacity to do a big project like this one. So, to avoid the decision, I went to Facebook. The final vote was closer than I expected, but it was still in favor of the ambitious goal, which gave the inspiration I needed.
I am honestly so curious to see what past me would have done if realistic goal did end up winning because deep deep deep down, I knew I wanted to write a play. Once I had the idea, there was no turning back. So, during spring break of my sophomore year, I started writing. Anything related to the story I wanted to convey I typed in a word document, even if it didn't connect to anything else. I had some funny plot points, some more serious, some that were eventually not going to work, some that were just stupid after reviewing it. Before I knew it, I started to come up with scene ideas and specific themes I wanted to portray. Although the characters were one of the last things I settled on, I had an outline of 2 acts with 8 scenes each and a very short summary of what I wanted to happen in each. Slowly but surely, I started naming characters and relationships started to form. I remember some days I would just be sitting on my bed, typing effortlessly non-stop, laughing occasionally and having such a great time. I always tell anyone who will listen I would only write when I had the urge to do so. Never would it be a chore or a burden; I wanted to be something I loved doing and if I didn't feel like writing it, I wouldn't. It turned out that was for the best and really made the process a lot more enjoyable.
It wasn't until the end of July until I had the first draft and I couldn't be more relieved. Each scene's end led to another's beginning and if one problem was solved, another would pop up in its place. I was so happy, I had written a script that I firmly believed at the time would have been what I submitted to the Proposal Committee. Although the main story stayed very similar, I was constantly making changes towards the end of the summer. There wasn't one time while proofreading that I didn't add a line or create a new situation because I believed that there was always so much room for improvement. As proposal season approached, I had to start the physical proposal, which was odd because I was preparing for my script to leave my brain and into the hands of several friends. I am still making revisions to the script as we rehearse, but I still don't regret for a second posting that poll on Facebook one year ago. I don't know if I believe that I wouldn't be writing this if the majority voted the other way, but I do believe that the result was the push I needed.
I know I didn't mention anything about the rehearsal for this week, but I felt like I had to reminisce about how different my life was a year ago. In some ways, it feels like I just started writing this play, but in others, it doesn't even seem like the same lifetime. I had a great time at Wednesday's rehearsal as always and it made me want to reflect on how lucky I truly am to be doing something like this because it makes me smile more than anything else. The quote for this week couldn't describe my mindset more and I feel as though I am learning more about what I am capable of every day. I do not want this experience to end and I know I still have a little less than two months left, but I can't stop thinking about the final bow in April approaching ever so quickly. I just have to remind myself to keep moving forward, expanding my comfort zone little by little and I will hopefully have many more life-changing experiences throughout my life that make me feel like this. Until next time!
"You have to set goals that are almost out of reach. If you set a goal that is attainable without much work or thought, you are stuck with something below your true talent and potential." ~ Steve Garvey